before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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