some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
