Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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