I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
