So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
