Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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