so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
