she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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