"it" just moved
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
