Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize