brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
