im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
