why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
