when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize