How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
