KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
