I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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