well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
