I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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