Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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