is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
