Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
