From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
