4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
