Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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