Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
