Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
