just tell him i said nine months
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
