Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
