96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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