he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
