She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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