Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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