My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
