Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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