So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
