it hurts more in the daytime
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
