Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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