So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
