By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize