would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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