Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
