His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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