some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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