her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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