had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How does one acquire holy water?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Enjoy the penises
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
