Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Damn victory sex feels great
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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