Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He kissed a someone with a penis
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
