Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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