Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
