You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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