when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
