false alarm. still invincible.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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