We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
