she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Tell her she can't have a vagina
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
