JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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