My room smells like vodka and shame
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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