So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
