Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
