i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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