this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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